A scatter brained history of Krautchan Let me tell you a long, long story about German Bildbrettkultur. Before I start however, let me tell you that the only old Krautchan shit I have is in my old Krautchan folder from 2008. The rest, the first KC wiki, Trinkerheim.com and likely Shaky's Dramalog about Onechan/Einskanal is gone. Its lost forever while a army of retards don't want it back. Before Krautchan, there was a place called Onechan, Germany's first Imagaboard run by a fag called One. For one year or two it churned along and became Einskanal, because people there ironically distanced themselves from 4chan, even began to translate 4chan memes verbatim and call themselves Bernd. This was the beginning of infamous Zangendeutsch. It was a fucking joke, OK. Every Bernd played along since they didn't expect that every monolingual German sperg who came to a fucking Imageboard for their first time in their life to take it seriously. Either way, soon One and Einskanal as a whole got more than 3 Problems. First the server was in Germany. Don't get me wrong, Germany is a nice place for a server when it only houses data like Russian CP. Its not a good place for a IB, because it violates multiple regulations our federal Government has put in place. One had to remove /h and /d, because some moral fag reported it to youth protection. After that /b became a problem since people liked to spam Hitler everywhere. Behind the scenes, there was also a lot of Drama which led a Scanlator of Lolicon mangos , a Perl coder and some fat fuck to found a place called Krautchan. They gave it all the odds and ends a Imageboard in 2007 could wish for. A seekrit server in Burgerland, a software that wasn't a ancient piece of shit and since German regulations forced you to have imprint on your website, an imprint according to which some retard is responsible for everything if you give him a crate of beer, i.e. no one. To shorten the wait for the new Software, they first put a Forum on the server. I have never been part on it, so I don't know anything about. All I know is that old Einskanal content survived on there. On May 1st 2007, Krautchan.net was officially open for every Bernd from Einskanal and everyone who wanted something like 4chan in German. Personally, I came to Krautchan about month later. It was a fun time were everyone wasn't a lazy fuck head, full of fresh OC and crazy topics. We were happy with the small things in online life like revel old Einskanal content like Kati, one of the first German lolcows, first OC with Bernd the Bread, taking the piss out of some Sandnigger who got stabbed by a Russian bydlo for stealing his rucksack, making funny shit in GIMP or PS or just posting a manga burning on /b and then reposting that on the forum of the manga's publisher to bait all those little weaboos we grew apart from in 2004. Even first attempts to troll Domian, titular host of Germany's most popular call in radio show, were undertaken by bored Bernds at this very time. It was a simple time were everyone was in the know of all the memes. Practically everything was a target of our nasty jokes. Something stupid on TV? We would have turned it into webms if we had them back then. Some retarded trend in the Germanosphere? (1) The first place that would piss and shit on it was KC/b. Pre facebook normalfag shit was often a target of a ruse orchestrated by a bunch of Bernds. Practically nothing was sacred **except butter**(1). That place was exploding with Divine spark. By the way, Netto No Shishou: Bernd, Unteraltersbach's predecessor was also from that time. Yeah, Krautchan was indeed a 4chan replacement for 5 months until it surpassed it when it comes to posting insane bullshit in German. If you were a Krautfag Internet weirdo, Krautchan was '''the motherfucking shit'''. Good times don't last forever especially when you are just too much for your administrators for the virtue of causing so many happenings, that you and his baby get a lot of attention. Before all went to shit, putting some retard who signs everything for a beer crate was a wise idea, because Bernd caused more trouble than burnt mangos and mean messages on some normalfag guest book. Taking the piss out of some fag for getting his Chan infected by bots was the least of our sins. We have had some JU Chick (2) exposed for her Bravo (3) nudes and lastly thrown out of the party, we trolled Netzpolitik.de into the ground by suggesting White Geek Dinners as sister events to Girl Geek Dinners and memed one of the articles from there for not having anything to do with internet politics. That the poor Grover bodied SJW fucker who runs that crap was triggered for weeks. Also some infamous weeb called Compyfox got stomped into a pancake thanks to Bernd. First he was discussed among other cringe worthy weebs, then one Bernd doxxed him through his company's imprint, giving a weeb J-Rock band he pissed off on a con with a shit sound setup years ago at the time his location. Of course our biggest fear was a German eBaums stealing our dank memes and turning our posts into Afikasu. We didn't have to wait for long thanks to that faggot site called Lachschon. First they stole our shit then the cancerous Userbase came to us and shitposted. We had the last laugh though. We brought their server down with huge images that crashed the users' browser and brought the image processing script to its melting point while an army of bots spammed random strings into the joke section, thus forcing inconvenience onto Lachschon user in form of Captchas and later a vandalized Wiki. In other words, we Bernds nuked our eBaums for taking our content. This was something that Goons never Archived with the original. While all this happened, OC still flowed. We even attracted an actual DJ who made Techno music concerning KC. From our PoV, the Internebutts were our oyster and we its Shock Wave Riders. Boy, were we wrong! It all began with the killing spree of Winnenden on March 11th 2009 and a stupid Hoax. The Killing spree wasn't that eventful for KC/b in itself. It wasn't even discussed there, because In fact, Krautchan was down for the entire day. Why? Because some Bernd (4) photoshopped a screenshot into a anonymous fake announcement allegdly by Kretschmer himself. This led to attention that crushed the Server under its weight. We held out on a replacement IB called Jehtruhm provided by the owner of Trinkerheim and later in the Schattengang(5) sub domain. It was too late newfags flooded the board. We did our best to integrate them, but too much shit went down. Two months later, the next happening in form of the Judith Park nude leaks came along. I don't know how Anon reacted, but Bernd was all ears when the nudes dropped on Krauthahn. Especially because some German manga artists were also Bernds. Not only was Judith a massive exhibitionist but also under contract with the same publisher who brought us the mango Bernd burned down in 2007. We caused a second fucking riot on their forum that resulted in first Rober Labs white knighting and then Mrs. Park closing all her Internet shit in shame. Later, when Parks Career was razed to the ground, Robert Labs left Manga and started to draw Western style comics. If you always wanted German mangos to be rid of Labs' uguuuu potato heads, thank Bernd for it. Then the last happening came in form of Robert Enkes suicide. Remember the URL Trinkerheim.com? This was a blog by some Bernd and the place were a two troll videos that spoofed the public mourning by Hannover fans and the phony public mourning of public figures in particular appeared first. From there, the videos only needed a short time to travel and Bernd got an ingenious idea for a ruse, only the devil and Kojima together could come up with. Multiple Bernd uploaded it on Youtube and harvested tons of salts by angry fans. We had agitated them more and more until we thought they were on the brink of violence. The next step was turning the furious Fans against Sascha Lobo. He is a self proclaimed Internet expert who shilled a concept called 'Digital Bohemia' and ripped off suits with consulting. He was a target for Bernds jokes for at least half a year before Enke commited sucide by Die Bahn and in that moment a convenient Valve for the fans anger. Later a troll post on Lobos official blog was mysteriously altered. Maybe it was Sixtus, maybe it was some other guy. Doesn't matter any more besides for the fact, that Lobo doesn't run his own fucking Blog himself. Later the KCs administrators acted against the interest of the user base for the first time by word filtering the names of Enke and Lobo. The same shit later happened with Thilo Sarrazin's name because Bernd was interested in the happenings surrounding him. Every Bernd with half a Brain knew, that /b/ was virtually unusable from that time on. Not only was it flooded with newfags, but Shaky also slammed a 'No fun allowed' sign into /b/'s soil. In other words, we faggots became too much of a hassle. So much, that we almost got a freelance shill beaten up by angry Hannover 96 fans. Going back to 4chan was out of the question. We stayed until something wonderful came along that would replace /b/ and give us shelter from all the plebs infesting /b/ like fungus infests sweaty feet. Some of us went to Ernstchan, but like every other spawn in the Zeroes, it didn't attract many people because the acts against the user base weren't severe enough. No, oldfags had held out until /int/ came along. In the same year, all that crazy shit was going on, Britchan imploded. Since Shaky and derGeneral were based enough to make a shelter for the bongs, they added /britfags/ to the board list which was proto euro /int/. I hold here for moment, right here to point out again, that this was solely a yuropoor affair and is not related to /b/ with flags. (6) It took the Brits a god damn quarter to found a replacement IB. After this, the board was renamed /int/ and started out as some kind of foreigner quarter. Whenever a foreign Anon tried to bait on /b, Bernd would point him to /int/. Everyone, Bernds and Anons, met up there and discussed all kind of shit until the board shifted its focus to Geopolitics and shit. Since /b went down the toilet so much, that even Unteraltersbach wasn't acceptable anymore (although the majority of its content came from there, you morons!), most based Bernds sought shelter from the newfag horde on /int/. Some Bernds lurked both boards at the time when /b still was fun. This time ended forever around march 2010 though. At this point, the thing that started in Deutschfäden on 2006 4chan and then continued on Einskanal found its grave on Krautchan. Maybe it will come back. However, for the time being I won't be the guy who brings it back though. I just don't feel like doing it for free as hard as it would be necessary. At this point, fuck German Internet, fuck Piratenpartei and this gay earth. Whatever den of faggotry my countrymen will open up here, I am sorry you have to see that! KC/int/ was wonderful place. Imagine a more civil /b combined with /pol, focused on gepolitics and making up bullshit stereotypes about all countries that are present there. We had more or less (7) serious discussions about everything and from these we build our stereotypes about certain nations you either find in your crazy bants or Poland Ball comics (also a invention of KC/int). It gave shelter to many nations of Anons who first raided the board and then found a comfy home on it. A good example for such a nation are the Russians, whose Yoba Bernd also still uses this day, because many of them fled to KC after 2ch.ru was brought down by Putin's jack boots. Of course there was Wojak (8) who was the spark who fueled the victimization of Polandball and brought use that feel. Again, it couldn't last forever since there is always someone who had to be a faggot because he wanted anything out of life but a big slab of power. That fag was in /int/'s case Laurelai, whose hugbox had been discovered by some Burgerclap in January 2012. He got so asshurt over the invasion that followed, that he Ddosed Krautchan and blackmailed the KC Administration, namely another tranny called Lambda: Either the whole thing gets memory holed, or KC stays down. This led to an exodus to Ylilauta, BRchan and later to a much smaller extend Livechan. BRchan closed its /int/ about half a year later while Sopsy of Ylilauta tried to sell out for the sake of Northpole.fi (that doesn't exists anymore, kek). Now Ylilauta is left to the normalfags. The only board like KC/int/ left is KC/int and Livechan which is more like IRC. KC/int ended up with the same development that took place on /b. First lurking more wasn't acceptable, then being a lolicon weirdo wasn't acceptable and gore was too edgy either and at the end of the slippery slope, you can't even make fun of the paranoid ramblings of the Burgerking because some normalfag mod who doesn't understand you bans you for being a poltard. The only bad thing KC/int lacks is a user base with the intellectual abilities of a rock, although I have to admit that I am not certain whether absolute autism is a better destiny than stupidity or a worse one. Our two /int/s here on 8chan have almost nothing to do with Krautchan. Maybe it will in the future but I don't thinks so, because so many retards have to be assholes about their views on KC. No Bernd will feel welcome here. Whatever the near future brings, Euro/int and Burger/int will be separate entities and 8/int/'s user base has no one to blame but itself. ''Superficial Info about Einskanal:'' http://aniki.info/Einskanal ''ED articles from the time when Ed did his fucking jorb:'' https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Salih https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Krautchan Also found a mirror of Schuchtel.net that I will keep to myself. You can thank the KC-tier memers for that. ''even more shit by Ed and some Youtube vids. Also footnotes'' https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Judith_Park https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Soccer (Mentions Robert Enke) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sRipjNZQUY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elJjRjdRLr8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsCk5i8DfpI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvAE-OfVhls (HERBERT FUCKING ATE IT! HE FUCKING ATE IT!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRlCDzuZ3J4 (Mr Lobo is emitting a little salt at 0:50) (1) Ancient meme. Please don't ask. Typing this wall of text down has hurt me enough. (2) Young Union, youth arm of Germany's largest right wing party, the CDU. (3) This needs a little explanation. Bravo is a German youth magazine which only constant rubric is Dr Sommer, which is about Sex ed. There youths can volunteer for intimate interviews with the editors and get photographed naked. The interviews and the nude are then published on the same site. Of course a conservative party wouldn't find that funny. (4)The culprit was said to be a namefag called DüsseldorfBernd (5)Based on Der Komtur, another Krautchan meme (6) Not even Hotwheels understands the difference. Again: /int/ was never about /b with flags on Yuro IBs. Also reminder that moot added 4chan's /int/ half a year later, on January 25th 2010. Why has 4chan a /int/? Likely, because moot stole the idea from Krautchan. (7) Rather less. Before the split it was a rather easy going place. (8) Infamous KC/int namefag who was easily identifiable even when he posted anonymously. Polandball started as bait intended for Wojak. That feel was a Polish meme imported by Wojak, nailed into Bernds mind by Wojaks hilariously bad English. ''All the stuff about /int/ has no sources besides Ed's Krautchan article because he paused writing down the Internet's history and continued recently with the rebirth of /cow/. Have related German punk rock instead.'' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbzQvOalhtg